The Miserable,Dull,and Boring life of Wednesday Addams
by Wolf of howl street
Summary: Wednesday decides to move from her family home and decides to move on with her life and finds it a bit difficult to be around people and with her ways of being a "Normal" Addams.
1. Woe is me

**Hello there and welcome to an Addams family fan fiction hope you enjoy this first chapter and please leave a review. P.S all rights reserved for The Tee Charles Addams Foundation.**

"Well as you can see it's not in good condition but i can help you find another home if you'd like." Wednesday Addams looked at the house which was covered in dust and cobwebs as she said **"****It's Utterly disgusting,It smells rotten,and it's, It's so pathetic!" **"I'm sorry if you don't like it." **"Like it?!,I hate it it's horrible the drapes are shredded and the windows are broken****,I'll take it!" **"Excuse me?" **"I want to buy it." **"But you just said..."

Wednesday then grabbed the salesman's clip board and then signed the documents and paperwork as she then grabbed the keys as she opened the and then slammed it as she smelled the horrific stench of mold and touched metallic rust. **"It feels like home."**

**Two days**** later**

Wednesday woke up to the sound of an alarm clock as she felt for the snooze button and then grabbed a hammer as she then smashed it into pieces. She then got up,yawned and then walked opened her closet and scrolled through her clothes as she then choose her casual black dress,white collar,alongside her black stockings and shoes as she then combed her long black hair and then made it into braids and then noticed that she still had some of her long hair left and then made it into nosses as she walked to the kitchen area as she then made herself a breakfast sandwich with raw ham,yolks, yellow cheese,and burnt toast as the door bell rang as she sighed and opened it. **"Yes?" **"Oh I'm sorry to bother you but i happened to noticed that you just moved here and i just wanted to give you this welcome basket along w..." Wednesday then grabbed the basket and then rudely slammed the door in front of her neighbor as she then placed the basket on the table as she searched it as she then pulled out a bag of coffee beans and then made a black coffee which she then stirred and sipped from a mug. She then walked outside and opened her mailbox as she pulled out a few letters and a heavy metal magazine as she was hit in the head by a baseball as she fell to the floor and then got up. "Excuse me Miss?" Wednesday then saw a group of children outside a garden playing baseball asking "Can you toss it back." She then did made an evil grin as she then pitched the ball back at them as the ball then shattered a boy's nose as the screaming and crying felt like music to her ears as she went back inside the house and then went to her bedroom and began to finish unpacking her stuff which included A mini guillotine,lots of headless dolls,heads of said dolls,a crossbow with bolts,and a map of the Bermuda triangle. She then placed everything on the floor and grabbed the crossbow as she then placed an apple on a doll and then aimed for it as she shot it as the bolt struck the apple sending mush splattering all across the walls. She then grabbed a newspaper article as she then scrolled through the HELP WANTED Add trying to find something that would suit her skills but nothing besides funeral assistant as she then found something close to her skills as she then removed the add with a kitchen knife as she then took the bus to the local mall where she received looks from everyone around her as she reached a beauty products store as she then got into an interview with the manager.

"So tell me "Wednesday" I'm i reading this correctly?" **"Yes." **"Tell me what is your experience in make-up?" **"I've been working with that ever since I was young and I know how to apply powder and lipstick along skin care." **"And it says here that you have a school suspension record of and i say quote "Placing dissected animal parts into the cheerleading squads locker room." End quote." **"They made fun of my family's name and you never mess with an Addams." **"Well other than that incident welcome you start tomorrow."

Wednesday then walked outside as she went into a shopping store and asked **"Do you have a rotary dial phone?"** "What era do you live in no we don't." "Then what are my options?" The employee then lead her to the electrons section as she glared at everything she saw. **"What is this flat bright sided thing?" **"That's a smartphone,no really what era do you live in?" **"Anything with numbers?"**

Wednesday then left the store with a flip phone in a box as she then went back home and then opened the box as she examined it as she then started fidgeting with the numbers as she then tossed it aside and then walked to a large fish tank which held a large octopus inside. **"How was your day Socrates?" **The red squid simply looked at her. **"Miserable? same." **Wednesday then dropped clams into the tank which the octopus gladly ate as Wednesday then took a cold shower and wore a black bathrobe as she sat down and turned on the tv while she waited to be dryed off as she changed the channel to a punk metal band show which she soberly depressingly watched the show until it ended at midnight as she got up removed her bathrobe and then placed a black nightgown over herself as she went to her worn torn bed and then slept in the shredded sheets with a headless doll on one arm and it's head in the other.

**And that is another chapter complete.**


	2. Beauty massacre-a

**Hello and welcome back to my Addams family fan fiction hope you enjoy and please leave a review.**

Wednesday woke up and felt slime as she woke up to find Socrates on her head. **"You can't let me sleep can't you?" **Wednesday grabbed Socrates and placed him back in his fish tank as she changed her clothes and walked to the garage to find a black bicycle which she started riding and decided to use to get to work when she quickly noticed there was no helmet so she decided to improvise by placing Socrates on her head as he wrapped his tentacles around her hair as she rode her bike to the mall while people started starring at her. When Wednesday arrived she parked and locked the bike as put Socrates in mall fountain while she walked into the beauty store and then started her work shift. Wednesday was placed with helping customers with applying beauty products as she was working on a woman who wanted a mascara on her eyes as Wednesday then combined the mascara with ink that she had on her hands and then placed it on her eyelashes as she rubbed paint on her eyebrows and then said **"All done."** The woman opened her eyes and then saw that her eyebrows were covered in paint and her eyelashes was leaking ink which went into her eyes as she then screamed and ran off hitting a pole,the next customer wanted a skin cream so Wednesday used the cream mixed with slug oozes as she then applied it along with mud which then soaked into the skin which worked well until the slug oozes made the woman sticky as she then got her hands stuck in her hair,and the final one was given lipstick made with animal blood which she then tasted as she later vomited. After her shift finished Wednesday left with a pink slip in her hand. **"Don't they know anything about beauty?"** she then grabbed Socrates who by then had covered the entire fountain with ink and then peddled back home where she saw a girl scout outside her doorstep knocking at the door as Wednesday walked by as the girl asked "Excuse me miss but would be interested in some..." **"Stop just stop." **"What?"

Wednesday then crouched down and then said **"Why do you even try with this." **"I don't follow." **"You have that dull green dress and cap which makes you look dull and what you don't even have a single badge on your belt thing and really cookies can't you think of something else?"**

The little girl was trying to hold back from crying as she said "How would you know anything about it?" **"Well..**** it's complicated." **"Sweetie!" Wednesday turned around to see the girl's mother ran towards her. "What has this woman been telling you?" **"****Madame**** i have no regrets about what i said about your daughter's stupidity." **"Excuse me?" **"It's true." **"Do you know who your talking to?" **"I really don't care about your dull job or your life." **"I just so happen to own the house that you are have a mortgage loan on and if you ever go near my little angel i swear will..." **"Hold both that thought and this."**

Wednesday then placed an apple in her mouth as she then went to her house and came back with a crossbow as she aimed it at her. **"Little girl i suggest that you leave right now." **The girl then dropped her box of cookies and then ran off as Wednesday then shot the apple as the bolt struck it missing any teeth or gums as the woman fainted while Wednesday simply walked up to her and pulled out the apple out of her mouth and went inside. The following morning there was a knock on the door,Wednesday opened it as a woman stood there holding a paper as she then starred at her as Wednesday was eating coffee grounds in a bowl with milk.

**"Yes?" **" You may not know me but i represent that woman you threatened yesterday and I am.." CRUNCH! "I am informing you that you have a court date and failure to appear will result in..." CRUNCH! "Would you stop eating coffee!?" **"This?" **"YES!" **"These are coffee grounds."**

Wednesday then grabbed a cup of hot coffee. **"This is recently made hot coffee you get the deference?" **"Yes but why are you eating coffee grounds instead of drinking regular coffee like a normal p..." Wednesday then simply splashed the coffee onto the woman's face as she then screamed as she blindly walked to her car while yelling "YOUR A FREAKING LUNATIC YOU HEAR ME!" Wednesday simply shrugged and pulled out a folding chair,placed it on the floor and sat down watching the woman roll in the floor still screaming until she then reached the door handle to her car as she opened it and then drove off. Wednesday smirked and sighed in delight while the neighborhood watched in shock and disbelief about what they had just seen. Wednesday was still searching for a new job as she then loudly listened to heavy metal music as she found something she would certainly not fail at as she once again went for an interview at a local high school and was instantly accepted and the following morning a group of teenagers sat down for their class as Wednesday walked inside wearing her usual black clothes with a long skirt and long socks as she had her braids cut and shortened as she wrote her name on the whiteboard by scratching her nails which got the students attention as she said **"Hello my name is Wednesday Addams but you may call me whatever you and i will not care,now be we start any questions." **

A young girl raised her hand and said "What's with those stupid clothes your wearing that's like so gothic." The class then laughed as Wednesday replied **"This is my usual clothing." **"Were did you get them from a graveyard?!" **"Actually**** it's the style my mother wears." **"Wow she must be so depressed about your clothing choices." **"You dare talk about my own mother?" **"Or what you'll give me detention?,lady please you don't scare me!"

Wednesday then walked up to her and then grabbed her and said **"How would you like to be part of a classroom project****?" **Wednesday then made a tinfoil hat with wires sticking out of it as she placed it on the student's head and then took out a homemade potato generator and attached the wires to it as she stuck it into a cable cord as she walked to the light switch. **"I suggest that you apologise for your insult." **"Or what?!" **"Have you ever been placed in a electric chair?" **"Why are you..." Wednesday then flipped the switch and after a long scream and lots of electric currents later the girl sat down in her desk with her hair sticking out as her nose was bleeding. **"Now turn your textbooks to chapter five." **

**And that is another chapter complete **


End file.
